Some of the time there are no words......and that is OK.

I haven't blogged in a while....we have been busy around here with life in general and then overwhelming joy and then overwhelming heartache.

Some of you already know and some of you don't but....

About a month ago Mal and I found out that we were going to have another baby. Boy, were we in SHOCK! But after a few days of wandering around aimlessly, we pulled it together and began to feel great joy (after the shock wore off) in the fact that the house would be filled once again with the sounds of crying, cooing and "baby" giggles. All was well and we were looking forward to the future.....

Then, last week I began to have trouble and went to the doctor on Tuesday. The ultrasound didn't look good, but there was nothing to do but wait, so I have another appointment this Friday. I am quite confident that things have gone badly and that we are not going to have another baby.....but we will know for sure on Friday.

I can now say that out loud, at first it was very difficult, and I find myself crying, laughing and feeling as though I am going to die if I don't think of something else.

Friends and family who now know have all been very sweet with kind, comforting words. Expressions of prayers and love. We do really appreciate all of that more than words can say . Those thoughts and prayers have been wonderful over the last couple of days.

But I have learned something through this so far......as Christians we want to say something profound in the face of tragedy and unspeakable pain, we want to be able to say something to the person/persons who are hurting to make them feel better. The truth of the matter is that we cannot. There are no words to erase the heartache when a loved one is lost, a devastating diagnosis has been made, or a child is lost. There is nothing here on this earth that can make that feel any better ....Only GOD can do that. Only He can take the painful burden and wipe away our tears. Only He can give us a peace that truly does pass all understanding. I have learned that first hand this past week. I knew it to be true already but it has been revealed to me again and again over the past few days. There is nothing to say when a tragedy strikes.....we can only love each other. Pass the love of Christ on to those who are hurting and sometimes, most of the time through that pain, words are not necessary.

Thank you to all of the people who have expressed their concern for us, for all of the prayers for us, God knows we do need them. But I am reminded......God is the ultimate answer to all of this life's pain. The only thing that I can really do is love on the people around me who are hurting. Show Christ to them through that love and understand that words don't always have to be spoken. I have come to understand that this week. And God knows, that is hard for me cause I am a talker.

Thank you to our church family, our family and thank you to the Lord who is ALWAYS there and who does ALWAYS love us, no matter what. Praise Him for that. I am His through grace paid for on the cross, and no matter what that will never change.

Til next time.....